


We never really had our closure

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-09
Updated: 2012-05-09
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	We never really had our closure

Twisting his future queen’s coronation crown in his hands, Arthur can think only of another.  
  
He deserves this crown.  
  
No.  
  
Not good enough. It will never be good enough.  
  
He deserves the world.  
  
Merlin has been through hell and back for him time and again, has given everything he has because of his unshakeable faith.  
  
But what can he give him, save the occasional claps on the back and even sparser hugs deep within the woods, before no witnesses aside from Gwaine and the trees?  
  
Perhaps this would be easier if Merlin stopped looking so bloody happy about the situation, as though his heart isn’t breaking into so many infinitesimal pieces that will eventually scatter to the four winds, never to be whole again. Then again, the mere thought of causing Merlin’s tears - more than have already been shed - brings him to his knees; knees which must stand firm before an entire kingdom on this day, meant to be the happiest of his life.  
  
He’s been so incredibly selfish, struggling to hold onto everything with both hands - but what else could he do when so many precious things have been taken from him?  
  
The door to his chambers flies open and the object of all his thoughts, hopes, dreams bounds in, so fragile in his indefinable strength. “That, _my Lord_ , is not where that crown belongs.” Merlin stops, stares, assesses, playful no longer. “What is it, Arthur?”  
  
Taking in a deep breath, Arthur vows to let his broken wishes lie and schools his features. “Nothing. You’re late, as usual.”  
  
Grinning unrepentantly, Merlin informs him, “That would be your fault, actually. Who knew you could make such a mess of a doublet in one night? It took me forever to get those stains out.”   
  
Only now that Merlin mentions the doublet in question do Arthur’s eyes fall upon it, perfectly spotless. He will never reveal that his friend’s puffy eyes belie this flimsy cover. Glancing away from him, Arthur gathers himself and says, “Well, let’s not put that rare show of initiative to waste. I do, after all, have a wedding to attend.”  
  
“Think you can manage to dress yourself while I put that crown where it needs to be for the ceremony?”   
  
_Once more, for old times’ sake_. “Though I have no doubt I could do a better job than you with my eyes closed, I believe you should make yourself useful while you’re still here,” _while I can still pretend to have it both ways_.  
  
“I see your upcoming nuptials haven’t made you any less of a prat,” Merlin observes, one eyebrow raised in wry resignation.  
  
Unable to resist voicing at least a trace of his bitterness, Arthur jokes dryly, “Oh, I don’t know, Merlin. By tomorrow I’ll probably be a new man,” knowing the truth of his words will be lost on his companion.  
  
“I won’t hold my breath for that, but at least you’ll be a married one.” _Yes. Yes I will._  
  
Maybe someday he will even be a happy one.


End file.
